Sure, everybody thinks Frosty is just an innocent ball of snow with a carrot nose. But make no mistake. Behind that gentle visage is a cool gunslinger at heart. If you were lucky enough to sneak a peek inside Frosty’s home arsenal, here’s what you’d find.
1. Mossberg 930 Snow Goose
The Mossberg Snow Goose shotgun is, hands down, the perfect shotgun for any snowman’s armament. Sure, the gun is great for snow goose hunting, but this 28 inch barreled autoloader has an extended 13-round magazine tube that makes a serious statement. The Kryptek Yeti camo is ideal for pale snowmen and women, while the high capacity means plenty of rounds to counteract any snowball fight.
2. Thomson Center Venture Predator
Frosty may not have many natural enemies — other than summer, or course — but who can pass up a good varmint hunt? All the snow creatures would love T/C’s Venture Predator with Realtree AP Snow camouflage, making it the perfect winter coyote blaster. With calibers including .204 Ruger, .223, .22-250, and .308, the composite-stocked varmint rifle is capable and undercover in the white stuff.
3. SCCY CPX-2
If concealed carry really took off in the arctic, SCCY’s CPX-2 semi automatic pistol in white would be all the rage. These compact 9mm sidearms come with double-stack magazines and a stainless slide. If Frosty had pockets, we’re sure he’d buy one for each. But since he doesn’t wear pants, that rules out AIWB carry as well. Nonetheless, the SCCY is a legit carry option for the snowball fella. Though there are nine color options, white is the only logical choice here.
4. Kriss Vector Alpine
Be the James Bond of snow villains with the Kriss Vector Alpine. This delayed-blowback semi-automatic civilian rifle skirts the laws — and the snow days — with ease. Add a suppressor to complete the too-cool-for-Christmas look and feel. Kriss Vector rifles come in 9mm, .45 ACP, 10mm, .40 S&W, and .357 Sig, and all accept standard Glock magazines. Which would your yard snowman choose?
5. Howa Snow King Talon
Legacy Sports International offered a pair of Snow King rifles, but the Snow King Talon has all the chill on cool factor. These bolt action rifles in King’s Snow Shadow camo with a matching Nikko Stirling optic are perfect for wintertime hunting. A Hogue overmolded stock with a shapely pistol grip defines the rifle, a certain addition to Frosty’s repertoire.
6. Sig Sauer Mosquito in Arctic White Digital
Sure, plinking with Sig Sauer rimfire pistols is fun, but is it Frosty’s arsenal kind of fun? Not without the limited edition Arctic White Digital camo finish, of course. We can see the snowmen lining up to knock down soda cans this winter. With all that cheap shooting practice, polar bears beware.
7. Windham Weaponry Snow Camo VEX-SS
Frosty brings a whole new meaning to “Tacti-Cool,” and few guns fit that description better than the Windham Weaponry Snow Camo VEX-SS. This semi-automatic AR-15 platform .223/5.56 features a 20 inch heavy, stainless, fluted barrel. Add a sling and scope and the snowmen will be ready to roll for either tac-ops or varmint hunting.
8. Taurus Spectrum
Sometimes white is just too blah, and leaves even Frosty wanting more. Enter the Taurus Spectrum line of semi-automatic pistols which cater to fashion lovers of color. The .380 ACP caliber pistols feature soft touch grip panels. North Pole residents will do well to select a white-framed pistol, but Taurus still adds a splash of color. In this case, Frosty can choose from either Cyan Blue or Black rubber grips.
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